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Burning Man Sucks! 10 Reasons to Stay Home
[We’ve been copping a bit of flak recently in some online comments, for being crusty old vets who are overly negative on Burning Man, compared to the dewy-eyed Virgins and wannabes. Not true – at Burners.Me, we all love Burning Man, that’s why we write about it. Loving Burning Man is not the same as loving the company that owns and operates it, this party is unique in that it is created by the audience, not the ticket-sellers. This isn’t a marriage – we’re free to criticize any aspect of the party or BMOrg we don’t like. You are too, and you’re free to disagree with us. As eloquently as you choose. “Freedom of Speach”, as Burner Crystal aka Nezgod calls it. Anyway, in the face of all this criticism against us for too much negativity, Burners.Me is happy to bring you this guest post from Whatsblem the Pro…]
With each passing…
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I love my new west coast home, replete with desert dance parties, funky glitch hop, nasty electro-breaks, flame throwers, fun fur, and mobile glowing spaceship dj booths, I also love the new EDM concerts with crazy LED shows, super technical visuals and pyrotechnics, and dj booths worth 6 figures. But ultimately, I’m an east-coast party kid that grew up on minimal, hard techno, and jackin house. Give me Ben Sims in an abandoned detroit warehouse (no glow sticks let alone visuals), Alex Under at a renegade under a bridge playing twitchy minimal, or Derrick Carter playing vinyl in a small club with people dancing their faces off. I miss that so. much.
Fast Forward: Label Magazine #3 | Editorial
Buckets of win.
Unnamed Fashion Editorial
Label Magazine #3
Photographer: Jacek Sroka
Models: Agnes Dragon, Klaudia Bulka
Stylist: Edvard Mess
Closer to the Edit: Ashley Madekwe
Been wanting to do this since LovEvolution 2011 in Oakland.
Alright, Ashley Madekwe (on some tv show or something) shows up at an underground party in an abandoned loft in NYC. Stacey Pullen is rumored to be headlining. Unfortunately, Ashley gets turned away at the door due to dress code violation. Let’s see what Ashley could’ve done that would’ve gotten her a solid 6 hours of dance-time and likely free treats.
First off, I’d probably add some bright coloured piping (yellow, green, or pink maybe) along some of the seam lines, or even around the neckline and hem. Replace the straps with same piping (or even better LED wire).
Then, we’re gonna take Ashley to a reputable piercer, get her ears scalpelled to about 1″. If she hasn’t fainted already we’ll give her a stiff shot of Jager, give her some bangs, shave a bit off the side, and paint some fat cat eyes on and VOILA! We’ll let her keep that shade of lipstick as a token of our good will.
And for the bottom half, I think we’ll keep her pants-less, but with vintage Fornarina orange platform boots and cyber spats from Robotic Kitty.
And for accessories, basic plugs are fine, we don’t need a necklace with that neckline, but I suggest adding a UV reactive cuff such as below (also see cuff tutorial we featured earlier). NO CANDY EVER. An orange arm band cuff would suffice as well, such as one from poutfits. We’ll give her one major fashion brand with Balenciaga’s black puffy clutch because Miss Prissy insisted. Not in black though, some other shade (anything, white, taupe, grey, charcoal) with the strap adjustable so she can wear it over one shoulder.
Much better.
Rewind: Junglist 101
Patience my little grasshoppas, these posts take a while.
After taking a pole of my jungle buddies, I’ve come up with a list of characteristic clothing items worn by old school junglists. While techno snobs look serious, junglists look tuff. As always post a comment with any additional suggestions. Always looking for more/better pics. Thanks to Toronto Jungle for keeping their shit online and in a relatively accessible forma.
1. Cargo pants/capris/skirts (eg. UFOs)
2. Crack hats
Military brimmed hats from army surplus stores, come in a variety of colours. Allegedly the colour used to determine what type of drugs you were selling, but that’s probably an urban legend. Baseball hats and kangols are acceptable alternatives. All were worn low over the eyes so no one could see how high you were, or cocked off to the side slightly.
3. Tshirts/tanks often with logos, can be fitted or baggy, (eg. athletic logos, label tees, Ecko, SNUG, Drumz, Mecca, FUBU, Stussy).
4. Bandanas: EVERYWHERE – tied around wrists, ankles, head. Ladies liked to wear em with the knot above the forehead like Rosie the Riveter. Also an acceptable substitute for a sweat towel.
5. Sweat towels/sweat bands
6. Lightas – you know, for waving above your head.
7. Puffy jackets/vests
8. Hoodies/zip ups – because a puffy jacket ain’t that tuff
9. Camo/military anything
10. Fat wooden beads/chain necklaces
11. Athletic shoes – Adidas, trainers, skate shoes, DC, Vans
Here’s some of the choicier pics I pulled from Toronto Jungle. Haven’t gotten through all of it yet, will add more later.
Shuffle: The 15 Best Burning Man Costumes Ever | Ignite.me | Burner Style & Radical Self-Expression
Over-the-top costuming is de rigeur 24/7 at Burning Man. Everyone leaves good taste, shame, and restraint in Reno. Leigh Bowery would be very, very jealous.
And of course, my buddy Suliman places Numero Uno 🙂 I’m always blown away buy his ensembles, was thinking about doing a female version. I’m also gobsmacked with the crocheted? gold warrior mask. I’ll be doing a (ugh, massive) post on Burning Man eventually, but check out this top 15 list from Ignite.
The 15 Best Burning Man Costumes Ever | Ignite.me | Burner Style & Radical Self-Expression.
I would add the following:
The Walking Stick
The Giant Squid
The entire crew of the Abraxus
Closer to the Edit: Carolina Herrera Fall 2013 RTW Collection
After 31 years as a tomboy, I doubt there will ever be an occasion for me to wear a gown. However, if absolutely necessary, it would sure as hell have a hood.
Carolina Herrera Fall 2013 RTW Collection – Fashion on TheCut
VERY RuPaul.
Techno Snobbery 
